I cannot foam roll. There,
I said it. My legs hurt. They are sore. After my run tonight, I can barely
stand up. I have a foam roller, but I can’t figure it out. I’ve asked around
about foam rolling and I’ve gotten the same response. “You just roll on it”.
Really? That’s what they meant by the word “roller”? Thanks.
So that’s the thing. I
can’t do it.
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| How does she roll?? (source) |
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| When I do this, my butt is still on the floor. My arms aren't long enough. Or my butt is too big. Or both.(source) |
Sure, I can get into these
positions. No problem. I can even hold those positions for a few seconds. Maybe
a whole minute if I really concentrated. But then, I’d need to roll? I’m sorry,
have you seen me? It takes me 3 full minutes to get down onto the floor, and
then I have to balance on this tiny roller that almost disappears once I’m on
top of it, and then roll?? I have one
question.
HOW?!?!
Seriously. How. I’ve
tried. It doesn’t work. It’s frustrating. People talk about how great foam
rolling is and how amazing it makes you feel afterward. But. I. Can’t. Do. It.
Who wants to volunteer to
give me a foam-rolling lesson and not laugh at me when I roll off of the foam
roller and onto the floor?? Okay, you can laugh as long as you teach me how to
do this.
The other thing I don’t
get? Compression socks. Let’s remind the class that any knee high sock on a fat
girl is a compression sock. Why should I pay extra money for a sock that I
probably won’t even get up my calf?
What are some good stretches that you live by after
a run that leaves you sore?? If you have wide calves, do you use compression socks? Do they work?
