Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Foam roller my ass. Of course, not literally.


I cannot foam roll. There, I said it. My legs hurt. They are sore. After my run tonight, I can barely stand up. I have a foam roller, but I can’t figure it out. I’ve asked around about foam rolling and I’ve gotten the same response. “You just roll on it”. Really? That’s what they meant by the word “roller”? Thanks.

So that’s the thing. I can’t do it.

How does she roll?? (source)
When I do this, my butt is still on the floor.
My arms aren't long enough.
Or my butt is too big. Or both.(source)
Sure, I can get into these positions. No problem. I can even hold those positions for a few seconds. Maybe a whole minute if I really concentrated. But then, I’d need to roll? I’m sorry, have you seen me? It takes me 3 full minutes to get down onto the floor, and then I have to balance on this tiny roller that almost disappears once I’m on top of it, and then roll?? I have one question.

 HOW?!?!

Seriously. How. I’ve tried. It doesn’t work. It’s frustrating. People talk about how great foam rolling is and how amazing it makes you feel afterward. But. I. Can’t. Do. It.

Who wants to volunteer to give me a foam-rolling lesson and not laugh at me when I roll off of the foam roller and onto the floor?? Okay, you can laugh as long as you teach me how to do this.

The other thing I don’t get? Compression socks. Let’s remind the class that any knee high sock on a fat girl is a compression sock. Why should I pay extra money for a sock that I probably won’t even get up my calf?

What are some good stretches that you live by after a run that leaves you sore?? If you have wide calves, do you use compression socks? Do they work?

6 comments:

  1. Hey Sara, foam rollers are great, once you get the hang of the technique—something that's tricky for everyone! The idea is to drag your body over/along the roller so that the weight of your body forces the muscle directly against the foam to press deeply into the roller. (The foam roller shouldn't be moving.) It's supposed to hurt, the way a deep tissue massage does. You can get the same effect with a tennis ball, which I find easier to roll around on. Try that!

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  2. I will definitely try the tennis ball. Sounds much easier to maneuver! I've felt the hurt a few times. I'm not looking forward to that, but I know it helps. It's that 'hurts so good feeling'! Thanks for the tips!!

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  3. I use an actual wooden rolling pin - one with handles (the center rolls, the handles don't). I use it as shown in the second foam roller picture...but you can also sit on a couch/chair/floor and lift your leg up and - using the handles - roll the pin up and down your leg. Make sure you use enough pressure and it will give you the same effect as if you were rolling your body over the pin/foam.

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  4. Hey Sara,
    I know you posted this a while ago, but if you're still looking for a "lesson," I might be able to help you out. I work at EMS in Northboro and started following your blog after that wonderful post you wrote about us! I am a recent foam roller convert myself (after developing some IT band issues this past spring), and it took me more than a while to get used to it. It's definitely weird. If you wanted to stop by the store some time with your roller, I can show you how to do some of my favorite rolls!
    -Ashley

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  5. I'd love that! Thanks Ashley!

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  6. No problem! Just give the store a call whenever you want to stop by to make sure I am there! :)

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